Love

( Photo credit )

What is love?

Can anyone describe the meaning of love for me?

Because somehow, that is just too absurd..

I feel like it is been forever since last time I fall in love.

I do not understand
How head-over-heels people can become so irrational.

How people become so brainless in front of an-opposite-gender-person they love.

How people can lose all their pride, begging someone they love to not leave.

How a good person can date (or get) a really bad person, because sometimes it looks so unfair.

How people hurt each other only to get someone they love.

Am I heartless? Call me that way.

But just because I often think about all of those above, does not mean I do not feel any love now.

Yes I feel some love. But I am not pretty sure what feeling is that since the absurdness of love itself.

While I am still with the same person for 3 years, I see my bestfriend dating with 3 different guys as time goes by.

Sometimes, I think deeply about those people around me who can easily get new boyfriend or girlfriend.

How can those people fall in love so easily?

Acquaintance, then get to know each other 3-5 weeks and voila! They are dating.

Or in some cases, if they break up, they automatically playing a game named who-can-get-new-bf/gf-sooner-win.

Familiar with that?

If you love them, why should you hurt them?

Just be honest with yourself, and also them.

Do not be so hypocrite, telling you do not love them anymore but your heart does.

What is the point from that? Escape from reality?

Just be honest. Be honest with yourself.

If the circumstance does not support you to tell them, just accept that, in silence.

Pray. Pray may you can get what you deserve sooner.

Do not rush yourself to forget.

If you feel hurt seeing them with someone else, enjoy that feeling.

Because, it proves that you are alive.

It proves that you have heart.

It proves that you deserve someone else who can make you happier.

If a person you love stop giving you happiness, then why should you lose all your happiness just to get them?

"Going through a path which they don't know yet, but one thing for sure that they know, that there will be someone who always guide them, remind them, and look after them, muz."

—D.M.R

Mirrors

 (Photo credit)

When we met each other, I realized we had the same humor, the same taste in music, the same amount of ego, the same addiction to intellectual talks, and best of all, we had the same tenacity to hold on to each other.

We matched. We were… mirrors. And we liked that. I liked that. It felt… special.
I felt like it’ll make things easy. It felt like it’ll make things last.

But now, after 5 years knowing you, I have to say, we never had anything in common, really. As I talked to you over morning tea, as I walked by your side when we head home, as I stared into your eyes across the kitchen table, I notice that we weren’t really what we thought we were.
We weren’t really… mirrors.

We weren’t really… soul-mates; we weren’t really that singular soul separated at birth, blessed into two different vessels, and destined to reunite after traversing the tangled corridors of life.

No. We were nothing like that.
As we grew together, you grew to love sitcoms, I grew to love memes. I thought sitcoms were cheesy, you had no idea what a meme is.
Your taste of music progressed; Plain White T’s, The Script. And mine regressed; John Denver, Billy Joel.

You dream of kids, and how our house would, eventually, be filled with them; our kids, our grand-kids, our grand-kids’ kids, the whole lot.
Me? I dread children. My sister got hit by a truck right in front of my eyes when she was 3; now every toddler looks like her, and I can’t stand if I had to see my dead sister’s face every single day if we ever ever decided to raise one.

I believe that people are, at heart, good. I give people the benefit of the doubt.
Human beings aren’t made to kill others, they aren’t made to take advantage on the suffering of society.
Ever since your dad got blackmailed to “donate” all his saving accounts, followed by the “shrugs” of the police, you believe in the supremacy of human nature. People are animals; they can laugh, joke, be kind, or even give, as long as it helps them survives. In the end, it’s about survival. Their own survival. And if it takes a little backstabbing and dirty work, that’s a small price that humans simply need to pay for good living. 

We’d quarrel when I lend my money over to the couple across the hall, and I’d storm out whenever I see you holding a baby. 

In the end, we are… ordinary.

There were times when we stopped talking to each other, there were times when we despised each other, hell, there were even times where we stopped seeing each other. We’re not mirrors. We’re not mirrors at all.

In all these times I talked to you over morning tea, all these times I walked by your side when we head home, and in all these times I stared into your eyes across the kitchen table, I’ve come to acknowledge, that, just like any other relationship, the only thing left that glues us together, the only thing left that we share, is our tenacity to hold on to each other. 

No, we’re not all that special. We’re not destined for each other. I know, this makes things a lot more difficult now. 

But I assure you, it’s okay.

It’s okay that we have nothing else in common. It’s okay that the only thing we have is tenacity.

Because Jules, my dear, it's the only thing we need.


Credit to: Alif Satria

When you live your dream, you'll find destiny♫

Helloo guys! Long time no see!

Kayaknya udah lama banget ga nulis something disini >< *bersihin sarang laba-laba*

Mau cerita sesuatu nih, pengalaman lomba kemarin yang membekas di benak hahaha

Jadi hari Jumat-Minggu kemaren ada lomba di EJVED Universitas Negeri Malang. Kali ini nggak sebagai debater, tapi jadi N1 Adjudicator.
Apakah N1 Adjudicator itu? *jengjeng*

Awalnya aku juga ga ngerti sama sekali itu apaan, awalnya malah kepaksa banget berhubung kekurangan SDM dan lagi mersiapin lomba lain. Tapi ya udah deh akhirnya maju jadi N1 Adjudicator.

Pas lagi latihan, aku tanya deh sama coachku, N1 Adjudicator ini apaan sih. Akhirnya tercerahkan deh kalo N1 Adjudicator ini juri tamu yang bakal jadi juri nanti. N1 Adjudicator ini juga bakal dinilai. Waktu hari pertama, bakal di tes bakal masuk kategori trainee, panel, atau chair. Trainee maksudnya pemula, panel juri samping, chair ketua juri gitu.

Beneran deh pas liat rundown acaranya, abis TM langsung ada written + oral test buat N1 Adjudicator. What the heckkk bayangin deh waktu itu bener-bener ga ngerti apa apa udah disodorin soal dan disuruh menjelaskan segala macam-___-
Tapiii, pas besok nya, aku kebagian jadi panel adjudicator! Hahaha sampe heran sendiri ini kayaknya salah nilai deh orangnya XD~
Waktu hari pertama, 2x jadi panel terus 2x jadi chair (((masih mempertanyakannya sampe sekarang KOK BISA)))

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya aku lolos sampe hari berikutnya ^^

Jadi N1 Adjudicator cukup melelahkan juga, harus bener-bener dengerin dan paham apa yang dijelaskan sama debater dan ngoreksi apa aja yang kurang dari materi atau cara mereka menyampaikan argumennya.
Selain itu, disini aku jadi kenal sama banyak orang (atau akunya aja yang SKSD langsung nanya asal mana abis ngadju siapa hahaha XD)

Oiya, aku juga bisa ketemu debater-debater nasional yang jadi invited judges disini. Dan OMG THEY ARE SO DAMN COOL!
Cuman bisa melongo KAPAAAN GUE BISA NGOMONG SE LANCAR DAN SEPERSUASIF ITU KAPAAAAN HA KAPAAAN HIKS
Jam terbang mereka udah tinggi. Waktu jadi adjudicator di Octofinal, kebetulan chair adju nya mbak Indri dari HI UGM yang juga salah satu invited judge. Sempet ngobrol bentar juga.
Katanya doi hampir tiap minggu ikutan debat. Dan emang bener, mbak Indri sama mas Alif (yang kalo udah ngomong keren mampus) satu tim yang udah sering menang kompetisi debat nasional. Apalagi mas Alif udah berkali kali jadi best speaker. (kebayang kan kalo ngomong gimana)

Yah meskipun sebelum sebelumnya hanya berkecimpung di dunia debat australian parliamentary, sedangkan lomba ini pake sistem asian, lomba kali ini menambah wawasan juga. Jadi ngerti gimana cara menjelaskan yang baik kalo didepan juri, terus juga jadi ngerti apa aja yang bisa menambah poin.
Alhamdulillah dikasi kesempatan buat ikutan lomba ini ^^
(Padahal pas habis tes, sempet homesick banget pengen pulang dan gamau ikut lombanya XD hahaha)

Anyway, tema lomba ini kan semacam kerajaan dan ada princess nya gitu, jadi lagu yang disetel kebanyakan OST nya barbie terus pas final malah nyetel lagu-lagunya The Corrs mulu (Bayangkan gimana bahagianya eike karaokean gratiss!)

Terus aku nemu OST Barbie yang sempet dimainin disana dan enaaak banget. Sampe sekarang kalo dengerin lagu itu langsung deh keinget suasana waktu lomba :p

So, enjoy the song and good night!

Barbie Princess & the Pauper - Written in Your Heart

And you're always free to begin again
And you're always free to believe
When you find the place that your heart belongs
You'll never leave
You and I will always be
Celebrating life together
I know I have found a friend forever more
Love is like a melody
One that I will always treasure
Courage is the key that opens every door
Though you may not know where your gifts may lead
And it may not show at the start 
When you live your dream
You'll find destiny
Is written in your heart
Though you may not know where your gifts may lead
And it may not show at the start
When you live your dream
You'll find destiny
Is written in your heart